I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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