dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
