I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
