from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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