i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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