Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
