i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
