ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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