im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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