i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
