The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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