yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
