Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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