I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
