But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
