I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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