Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
