i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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