im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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