I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
