Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
