I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
