very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
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just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
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my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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