I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We are all done wearing pants today
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize