Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Randomize