Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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