sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize