Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
