If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
