I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
