i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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