Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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