What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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