That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
