he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
