love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
