dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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