You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
