Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
