He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
