Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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