Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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