So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
