that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
