My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
