great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
