She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
