the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
two words: eviction party
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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