5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
