Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
50% drunk capacity currently
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
