we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
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My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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