I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize